


I'm Here Now

by Choccyghost



Series: Breathe [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Everything Hurts, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hurt Oikawa Tooru, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru-centric, M/M, Panic Attacks, Please Don't Hate Me, Please read the archive warnings before reading, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, The Author Regrets Everything, Why Did I Write This?, You Have Been Warned, angst with light fluff, iwaoi - Freeform, iwaoi angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Choccyghost/pseuds/Choccyghost
Summary: Iwaizumi receives a call at the dead of the night.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Breathe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124309
Comments: 4
Kudos: 104





	I'm Here Now

**Author's Note:**

> ADDITIONAL TW// Panic attacks

Oikawa tossed the ball up, watching as it hovered for a moment in the air and came back. He pouted at the ceiling; he was bored. He thought back on the day he had. Practice had gone well that day, after which Makki and Matsun had taken Oikawa and Iwaizumi to a new cafe, claiming it had the best food. They then had teased a blushing Iwaizumi about his upcoming birthday, asking him for a party. Oikawa now smiled, remembering his red face. Iwaizumi had strictly asked the setter to not get him any presents; of course he had decided to not listen. He had already ordered something for the ace. "Oh shit," he thought, catching the ball deftly in his hands. "The present." Oikawa had a friend from America who lived down the street. He had requested the guy to bring him something from his country which he knew Iwaizumi would like; and the guy had agreed, as he was in town for a day. However Oikawa had been busy, and the guy had dropped a text saying he had hung the cover on the back of his gate, on the latch. Oikawa sat up on his bed, hesitating. He could get it tomorrow-but what if someone else notices and steals it? Besides, he wasn't really sleepy and it was a short walk. He put on his pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt; it was cold outside. 

He hummed as he left his house, twirling the keychain around his finger, imagining the expression on Iwaizumi's face as he opened the gift. He wondered if he should invite his boyfriend to spend the birthday at his place, since his parents were out and he had the whole house to himself. The smell of cigarettes filled the air, interrupting his thoughts. He looked sideways, seeing an old man staring at him, smoke clouding his face. Oikawa felt slightly uncomfortable; however, the house was just slightly away and he decided to ignore the guy. He stopped as he heard footsteps and turned to see the man right behind him. "Yo chill." He had a weird accent Oikawa couldn't quite place. "I just wanted to know the directions to the city gym to visit later." He looked like the last person who would go to a gym. However wanting to avoid talking much, he quickly murmured the instructions before turning away. Suddenly he felt the guy's hand on his shoulder. He shoved him away quickly, and watched as his head hit the pavement with a grunt of pain. Oikawa knew he wasn't too badly hurt; he immediately turned back panicking, deciding to get the present later. Then out of nowhere, a cloth was pushed into his face, and before he knew it, he had breathed in the scent. He silently flailed and kicked against the arms holding him back for a while, before everything went dark.

The wind ruffled his hair. Cold-It was too cold. His head felt heavy, as if he had been underwater for too long. He opened his eyes, staring at the cloudy sky above him. Oikawa frowned; where was he? He slightly lifted his head, immediately feeling dizzy as a wave of nausea overwhelmed him. He laid back, his head spinning as he slowly remembered what had happened. He risked a second glace up, slowly reaching for his phone; no one was looking at him-for now.  
He had been so focused on staying conscious that he didn't hear the footsteps coming up to him. 

"Hey look. Pretty boy is awake."

Oikawa panicked at the voice, dropping the phone. He made a hurried grab for it, but a blond head reached for it first. "Poor guy is scared. Don't worry, we'll make you happy soon." In a flash, the blond threw the phone across, the shattering sound making Oikawa wince. 

"We were going to play nice. But you betrayed us." A brunet appeared behind him, clutching his heart dramatically. 

"Y-you guys are crazy." Oikawa muttered, gingerly getting up.

"Aww look. The boy wants to fight." The bald guy Oikawa had seen earlier stood in front of him. "Let's give him one then." And before he knew it, the guy's hand whipped across his cheek. His back crashed against the large trashcans, his body jerking on impact. Black spots covered his vision as he feebly raised his hands to protect himself. They were of no use as he felt punches and kicks rain on him. Just when he thought they were going to kill him, they stopped. Oikawa felt a slight relief- the men probably got bored and left. He could make it back on his own, if he walked slowly. Just then, he felt a hand on his shirt and he gave a sharp gasp as his chest was exposed to the harsh chillness in the air. His eyes widened as he realized what they were doing. "W-why?" He asked weakly. He wanted to fight back; but at the moment, he felt as if his legs and hands were made of lead. 

"Why? To have fun, of course!" The brunet whispered in his ear, clutching his hair tightly and slamming him against the trashcan. Oikawa's eyes shut at that point. Everything else was a blur as he slipped in and out of consciousness. None of it made sense- being forced to his knees- a wet muscle inside his mouth as a hand pushed his head forward- another hand running all over his body- feeling a sharp pain down his back- his body moving back and forth against the concrete-nothing clicked. Correction: He didn't want it to click. Tears streamed down his face and his screams died in his throat as he blacked out again.

Iwaizumi turned on his bed, pulling his blankets closer. He felt the cold air caress his face from the slight crack in the window. Maybe that's why he had woken up, he thought dizzily. He threw the blanket over his face and prepared to go back to sleep when he heard his ringtone pierce through the silence. He cursed under his breath, wondering who the hell was calling at- he blinked at the clock on the bedside table- 2:15am in the morning?! He felt around the bed for his phone, finally grasping the device from under his pillow. He squinted at the screen, the brightness burning his eyes. "Shittykawa" flashed on the screen, the call ending just as he was about to pick it up. Iwaizumi rubbed his eyes, looking at the screen that now showed "3 Missed calls from Shittykawa." He stared at it for a second, before pressing the call button. Iwaizumi cursed the setter as he listened to the ringing. Oikawa picked up on the 4th ring.  
"I swear, trashykawa, if you called again just because you were bored at 2 fuckin am I'm going to punch that smirking mouth of yours so bad-"

"Iwa-chan." 

Iwaizumi stopped his heated flow. Something felt wrong. Oikawa's voice lacked the usual carefreeness and cheer it had.

"Oikawa. What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" Iwaizumi asked, softly.

"Iwa-chan I- I'm scared."

Iwaizumi heard the other let out a shaky breath as he struggled to form words. "Hey. I'm here. Talk to me. Do you need me to come over to your house?" Iwaizumi felt a growing sense of concern at the pit of his stomach. He was already up from his bed, moving towards his cupboard as he looked for a change of clothes.

"I'm n-not at home, Iwachan." 

"What the fuck, Oikawa? It's past two and the weather isn't any good. Where are you?" Iwaizumi balanced the phone on his shoulder as he slipped on his pants.

"I had left to g-get the parcel from Ken-" There was a mixture of distorted voices from the other end. Iwaizumi froze. "Oikawa? Answer me! What's going on?"

"I d-don't know where I'm. Iwa-" The rest of what he was going to say was drowned by a crash before the call ended. Iwaizumi frantically tried calling back, only to end up in voicemail. He stared at the screen in horror, only two things ringing in his head :Oikawa was lost- and he was in trouble. Iwaizumi grabbed his keys and shut his door quickly, not bothering about the noise it made and rushed towards his car, all traces of sleepiness gone. He quickly got into his car, his mind abuzz. Oikawa had mentioned some parcel, and something that sounded like Ken. Kenny? The guy who lived down Oikawa's street? He decided that was the best possibility; there was no other place even Oikawa could have left for at this hour. His best option right now was to head in the same direction, and he hoped with all his heart that Oikawa wasn't far away. Though the distance between his and Oikawa's wasn't that long, Iwaizumi felt like he had been driving for hours despite going past the speed limit along the roads devoid of traffic. He finally entered the path leading to Oikawa's street, and kept going towards a fancy house, noticing the dark windows of Oikawa's own with a sinking heart. He suddenly stopped , noticing something glittering on the road. He stepped out of the car, picking up the keys he recognized to be as Oikawa's. He was now blown away by full-on panic, the last glimmer of hope that Oikawa was playing some stupid prank crushed by the keys. He stood at the crossing, wondering which way to go- he really couldn't afford going the wrong direction. The keys had been a bit ahead of Kenny's place, slightly towards the right. He took a deep breath and headed that way, knowing he had to take a chance. He was now nearing the end of another street, and he stopped, fast losing hope. His ears strained in the silence for any sort of noise- and he heard it. A faint sound of laughter. Without hesitating, he went rushing off towards it, the voices getting more and more defined as he reached closer to it, along with the pounding in his heart. He tilted his head, to find an abandoned alley- and stopped. His feet suddenly felt rooted to the ground as the sight in front of him made his blood freeze. 

In the gap between the two buildings, among the trashcans and waste strewn around, were three men with their backs to him , laughing. His eyes slowly fell upon Oikawa's clothes lying in a crumpled heap on the edge, along with the shattered pieces of his phone. His mind went blank just as he noted a tuft of brown hair and pale skin lying at the feet of a bald guy. At that moment, everything seemed to move in slow motion as Iwaizumi clenched his fists- a blonde head touching his crotch, sneering as he held Oikawa's arms above him with his other hand- an old guy with streaks of blood on his hair, pushing his fingers into Oikawa's mouth, silencing him while his other hand ran through his body- a third guy, a brunet with his pants lowered on Oikawa's back, his face twisted into pleasure as Oikawa's body jerked on the cold concrete.

Before Iwaizumi knew it, he was flying across the road, his mind blinded by fury, a strangled scream escaping from his throat that promised hell. The three men froze, looking up at the figure rushing towards them. They barely had time to react before Iwaizumi's fist connected at the old guy's head, right where he had been wounded. He let out a grunt which turned into an agonized scream as Iwaizumi smashed his head again and again against the brick wall. The other two guys who had been staring on , hurriedly got up, preparing to run. Iwaizumi let out a devilish laugh as the old man crumpled against the wall and he made a grab for the blonde head's tshirt, pushing him to the ground. He could barely raise his hands as Iwaizumi punched his jaw hard , getting blood on the first hit. Iwaizumi was aware of a weird feeling of bliss-the bliss of revenge which took over him, making him hungrier for more as he slammed the blond's face against the hard concrete, clutching his hair tightly. The brunet, who had been adjusting his pants , now crept up slowly behind him, raising a beer bottle at his head. Iwaizumi noticed a slight change in expression on the blonde's face and turned just in time, catching the guy's wrist the bottle dangerously close to his head. Taking advantage of his surprise, he attacked with his other hand, throwing Iwaizumi off his friend. Iwaizumi's back crashed against the trashcans as his knees grazed heavily against the rocks lying around. He squinted, watching on as the blond got up gingerly, wiping blood off his mouth. "Oh no you don't." Iwaizumi muttered, getting back on his feet. He rushed forward, jumping and landing with a kick on the only uninjured person- the brunet. The scene when he had arrived flashed in his head again. Only one thing was repeating in his head now- all 3 had hurt Oikawa. And there was no way he was letting any of them get away; they were all going to suffer. The guy was taller, and more well built than him- but at that moment, Iwaizumi was hell sure that he'd be able to take on anyone. "Back off, fucker-" His snarl was cut off as Iwaizumi slammed him against the wall, his nose breaking on impact. Iwaizumi was barely aware of Oikawa twitching slightly beside him as he twisted the guy's hand behind his back. More blood, he thought as he heard a snap on the guy's arm while he let out a strangled scream. "Not enough." Iwaizumi whispered as he dragged the back of his collar, slamming him against the ground. The blond who had been watching, now slowly started backing off, scared to death. Iwaizumi barely noticed as he kicked the guy's stomach. He remembered the way his features twisted into disgusting pleasure a few seconds ago-and his fury doubled as he hit the back of his head with his shoe. He crushed the guy's head on the pavement again and again, feeling an immense satisfaction rise up as he saw the pool of blood beginning to collect at the ground. Just then, he felt a tug on his pants- Iwaizumi froze, wondering if the old guy had gotten up- but it was worse. Oikawa was looking up at him, his face twisted in pain; his eyes were blotched from crying and there was a cut on his lip, with dried blood down his chin. His usually-styled hair was a tangled mess, and Iwaizumi could make out various bruises stretching across his smooth pale skin. His cheeks were red from the cold, and he seemed to have mustered all his energy to reach his leg. "....stop." He gasped, his eyes pleading. 

Iwaizumi's heart shattered. All the feelings of anger, revenge and hatred vanished into the air as he saw his friend- teammate- lover lying helpless at his feet. Oikawa, the guy who always had a smile dancing on his lips, the guy who always held his head high, full of confidence, was now looking up at him, utterly lost and broken. Iwaizumi immediately stepped off the guy, and leaned down, holding Oikawa against his chest. He barely noticed the guy get up slowly behind him, glance at the unconscious old man and walk out, clutching his broken hand. He whispered comforting words against Oikawa's ear and he kissed his cheek, panicking at how cold he was. He jumped, finding his clothes and put the shirt and his own jacket over Oikawa's trembling body gently. He helped Oikawa ease the jeans up his legs, as the latter let out shaking sobs. "Hey. You are okay. I'm here now." Iwaizumi felt his heart clench as he wiped away Oikawa's tears from his cheeks and combed his hair with his fingers comfortingly. He had no idea how long he stayed there, holding him; when suddenly both of them heard a car stop behind them and turned to see the police and 2-3 people staring at them. Oikawa clutched at Iwaizumi's jacket, feeling panic rising inside him again. "Hey, you are safe now, alright?. I'm going nowhere." Iwaizumi drew him into a protective hug as he listened in to the conversation happening behind. "He has hit his head hard, but there's still a pulse. Call the ambulance." The police asked a few short questions, taking down their names and addresses. Iwaizumi had somehow managed to convince them that they didn't need an ambulance, as he had his car; Oikawa was getting more tensed up by the second, and being in the vicinity of the police longer wasn't doing him any good. They were asked to stop by the station the next day and then they slowly left, the ambulance following them. Iwaizumi turned back to Oikawa, his voice soft again . "Hey, can you walk?" 

Oikawa nodded, and attempted to stand up clutching at Iwaizumi's hand before falling down again. Iwaizumi deftly caught him. "Still as stubborn as ever, huh?" He put Oikawa down for a second before picking the taller guy up in his arms. Oikawa buried his face on Iwaizumi's shoulders, hands around his neck, stifling a sob. Iwaizumi felt his throat tighten at the noise, walking as quickly as possible towards his car. Why couldn't he have gotten there earlier? Why couldn't he have picked the call at the first try? If he had reached their just a few minutes back, maybe Oikawa wouldn't have been scarred for life. He bit his lip, trying to contain his anger at himself. He managed to get the side door open, placing Oikawa on the seat as if he were made of glass. He got into his own seat silently, and drove off to the Sendai hospital. 

"How late was I?" Iwaizumi asked quietly.

Oikawa was silent for a while, and Iwaizumi wondered if he shouldn't have asked him about that so soon. "You don't have to-"

"The brunet was the only person who-who" Oikawa stopped. 

"Raped you." Thought Iwaizumi bitterly. 

"But," Oikawa continued, hesitating. Iwaizumi felt a sinking feeling on his chest, having a bad feeling about what he was going to say. "I h-had to mouth the other guy's-" Oikawa stopped again, not being able to finish it. Iwaizumi's hands tightened on his wheel, his knuckles whitening and he had to try hard to focus on the road ahead of him. Too late. He had been too late. He felt tears prickle his vision as it hit him just how much Oikawa had been through in those few minutes. A costly few minutes. If only he had left earlier. If only he hadn't slept through his friend's first two calls. The only thing stopping Iwaizumi from screaming and crashing his car was the thought of Oikawa, looking more shattered than he had ever seen him.

Oikawa adjusted himself just slightly on the seat, hoping Iwaizumi wouldn't notice. His body ached from top to bottom- especially his lower half. His head throbbed , his hands felt limp, his legs felt unusable. But the most he felt was disgust and hatred at himself. How could Iwaizumi let someone as dirty and tainted like him sit in his car? He wondered if he was going to leave him; he deserved someone way better than him anyway. Oikawa took in a deep breath. Iwaizumi deserved to know what happened before he arrived.

"Everything was fine till I reached his house." Oikawa started, staring at his lap.

"Oikawa. You don't have to talk about it." Iwaizumi said, realizing what he was doing.

"It's fine." Oikawa took a shaky breath and filled him up on what happened, leaving out the part where the parcel was supposed to be his gift. He told him about how he managed to shove off the old man, and Iwaizumi vaguely recalled how he was already wounded when he attacked. "He must have texted the other two guys when I had my b-back to him. I nearly got away b-but then one of the guys pressed a cloth against my mouth and everything went dark." Oikawa paused, trying to breathe between his sobs and Iwaizumi reached his hand out, rubbing Oikawa's leg comfortingly. "When I woke up, I was in that alley, and th-the men were arguing about something not realizing I was awake. I was still dizzy from the chloroform and felt too nauseous. I knew I w-wouldn't be able to fight them. That's when I t-took out my phone and dialed your number, trying to get up. I do-don't know why but two of them weren't there at that moment, and the old guy was busy smoking a little distance away. I can't tell you how relieved I was when you picked up, Iwachan. H-however they noticed I was awake quickly and then-you know." Oikawa stopped, feeling as if his insides would break any moment. Iwaizumi listened to his boyfriend's shaky narration, feeling worse by the second. He felt so frustrated- frustrated that he couldn't carry his pain for him. He had no idea what thoughts were running through Oikawa's head and it sucked that he could only do so much even if he knew. They finally reached the hospital, and Iwaizumi felt the slightest of relief. He stopped the car, preparing to get up. 

"I'm sorry." 

Iwaizumi froze. He turned back to see tears streaming down Oikawa's face again. Iwaizumi reached to hug him, when Oikawa flinched. He stopped, shocked. "You know I'll never hurt you, right?" He said softly, retracting his hand, but failing to hide the hurt in his tone. 

"It's not that." Oikawa paused. "Why would you want to touch me? I'm too disgusting now." He said in a small voice, the words shocking Iwaizumi. He quickly sat back, turning Oikawa's face towards him. "Hey. None of what happened was your fault, alright? And it never will be. If anything, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you earlier." 

"No. Don't apologize for that. Please." Oikawa mumbled. He looked up at Iwaizumi, his eyes devoid of the shine it had earlier. "So you aren't going to leave me?" Oikawa's tone was hesitating, as if it was the last thing he expected. 

"Of course not, Oikawa. And I never will. I love you." Iwaizumi whispered, wanting to hug him but wondering if he'd be okay with that. But he didn't have to wonder for long as Oikawa wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi, ignoring the searing pain the slight gesture took. Iwaizumi returned the gesture by holding him back gently, careful not to apply too much weight around his fragile body. "I love you too, Iwachan." Oikawa whispered against his ear. They stayed like that for a while, before both of them headed to the hospital. 

After the checkup, Iwaizumi drove both of them back to his place as Oikawa's family was out of town. He parked his car quickly, noticing that the lights in his house were on. Oikawa convinced him he could walk, but Hajime put an arm around him anyway as Oikawa bit his lip, trying to hide the severe pain every step was causing him. 

"Where the hell did you drive off to at this hour? I was so wor-" Iwaizumi's mom stopped her rushing flow after seeing their faces and noting Oikawa's limp form as the setter attempted a smile at her. "Oh god, what happened?" 

"I'll tell you later, mom. Can you get us something hot?" Iwaizumi asked, wanting to put Oikawa to bed as soon as possible. His mom nodded, glancing back as she headed to the kitchen. Iwaizumi picked Oikawa up again, ignoring his protests. "Shut up, I'm not going to let you climb the stairs in this state." He headed upstairs to his room, gently laying the boy down on the bed. Iwaizumi took out his baggiest sweater and the longest pair of pants he owned. Oikawa looked up at him. "Iwachan, can I have a quick bath?"

Iwaizumi stared back at him. He could only imagine how bad Oikawa felt at the moment. "You can't even stand properly. I can come in and-"

"Hajime, please. I have to. And the medicine they gave me is kicking in, I feel better already." Oikawa said, his eyes pleading. The doctor who had checked for injuries and bandaged him up had reluctantly given in on Oikawa's wish to not stay at the hospital. There were some hard bruises, but nothing that was too serious, he had said.

Oikawa never used his name much. He hesitated, realizing how badly Oikawa wanted it. "Fine. Be quick, please? I'll keep the change of clothes, and towels inside."

Oikawa nodded at him gratefully. Iwaizumi threw a quick glance back before shutting the door behind him. Oikawa's expression immediately changed, as he headed to the bathroom, clutching his stomach. He shut the door with trembling fingers, and took off the clothes as fast as he could. He ripped off the bandages which were supposed to have waterproof tape around them; and the doctor had specifically warned him not to take them off while bathing. But he couldn't help it. The smell coming from his clothes was making him gag- blood mixed with waste along with something white. He couldn't take it anymore as he took off the last piece of bandage and immediately threw up into the bowel, emptying his stomach of whatever he had eaten. Tears prickled his eyes again as he felt overwhelmed by disgust again. He stood up, quivering, trying to regulate his breath as he flushed the toilet. He went to the basin, rinsing his mouth with water again and again, using up almost half of the mouthwash Iwaizumi had kept at the side. Flashbacks of the blond forcing himself against his mouth triggered him again, as he struggled to breathe. He then made the mistake of looking up at the mirror; he barely recognized his reflection. His eyes were blotched, with new bags around them. His hair was haphazard, knotted in some places with something sticky- waste? cum? blood? All together? He didn't want to know. The bruise below his lips had now turned blue-black, and his neck and wrists had the marks of the men grabbing them tightly. He could barely imagine what the rest of his body looked like as he averted his gaze quickly. There was not a sign of the cheery Seijoh's captain he had been 24 hours ago. The only thing that was keeping him from blacking out was the excessive taste of mint in his mouth. He staggered off to the shower, adjusting the temperature to the hottest degree. He felt the water burn all over his body, seeping in through the bruises. He reached out for the soap, scrubbing his skin with force, adding to the irritability of his skin. But at that moment, it was the only thing distracting him from his mind, which threatened to take him back to the dark alley again. Why had he gone to get the parcel so late? What would have happened if Iwaizumi hadn't arrived then and there? Oikawa didn't want to think of it. He scrubbed harder, trying to take away the the disgust he felt. But however much he scrubbed, it felt like he'd never be truly clean now. He approached the one area he had been dreading, as his fingers edged near his back. He wanted to avoid it, but the need to clean was overpowering. He winced as he felt the torn flesh near his hole. His body shook with another sob as he cleaned the area as gently as he could, screwing his eyes shut against the blood and the cum flowing into the drain. Everything hurt too much, and Oikawa wondered if he'd ever be the same again. His fingers itched to scrub all over his body a fifth time-but he knew Iwachan was waiting outside, getting more anxious by the second. He closed the tap, wrapping a towel around himself. He stared at the pile of clothes, wanting to burn them. He hurriedly left, avoiding the mirror this time, putting on the clothes Iwachan had lent him and quickly started bandaging himself again before Iwaizumi came in.

Meanwhile, downstairs Iwaizumi filled his mom up on what happened. The lady was now clutching her mouth, eyes full of shock. "You really took all 3 of them down by yourself?" Iwaizumi looked up, cheeks flushed. "I know I should have called for help sooner but.... all I felt at that moment was anger and hurt." He absent-mindedly caressed his bandaged knuckles. "If only I had reached their earlier. Damn it, it was so cold too." Iwaizumi muttered, tugging his hair. "No." His mom got up, pulling her son's head against her chest. "You already did the best you could. Who knows what else would have happened otherwise? Be glad you reached there at least then." She kissed the top of his head. "When are his parents coming back?"

"I don't think they'll be able to anytime soon. He mentioned it was an important trip." Iwaizumi said, taking comfort in his mother's hold. "He can stay here right?"

"Of course. There's nothing else to do. I'll call up his mother later today, letting her know anyway." 

Just then, they heard a door shut above them. "Go after giving him a minute or two. I'll bring the tea up-to your room." His mom said, already turning away. Iwaizumi nodded, pacing around the hallway for a while before heading upstairs again. He knocked on the door tentatively. He heard a faint "Just a minute" and Iwaizumi stood outside clenching and unclenching his fists. "Do you need help with anything?" He asked. "No, it's fine, just a minute." Oikawa was bandaging himself up again, the process taking more time than he had expected it to. He finally finished and let Iwaizumi in. "Are the clothes comfortable?" He asked immediately.

Oikawa nodded, sitting at the edge of Iwaizumi's bed. Iwaizumi's mom came up behind him, handing them both a glass of tea. Oikawa managed a weak smile as the woman drew him into a hug. "Thank you, Mrs Iwaizumi. I'm sorry for bothering you at this time." 

"Don't apologize." Iwaizumi and his mom said in union. 

"This is your second home, remember?" Iwaizumi's mom said softly, caressing his wet locks. Her heart broke at the way Oikawa looked like a lost child. They were silent for a while as each of them sipped their tea. Oikawa felt like he would throw up if he drank anything other than water, but not wanting to be rude, he forced the hot beverage down his throat. Iwaizumi's mother waited till they were finished drinking. She glanced at the clock. "It's nearly 4 now, boys. Try catching some sleep."

"You too, mom." Iwaizumi replied, remembering she had to leave for work early. His mom smiled at him before shutting the door behind her quietly. Iwaizumi turned his gaze back to Oikawa. "Feel better?" 

Oikawa slowly shook his head. "Not really." 

"Come on. Lie down now." Iwaizumi muttered, getting up to arrange the pillows behind him. He had expected that. Oikawa didn't resist in the slightest as his head hit the warm pillow and Iwaizumi piled 2 blankets on him.

Iwaizumi closed the slight creak on the window and shut the curtains. He switched off the lights, slipping in on the other side of the bed. "Hey Oikawa. Let me know if anything makes you feel uncomfortable. I'll more than understand."

Oikawa knew he was referring to the stuff they had done so freely before; kissing, hugging, sex and what not by the way Iwaizumi was lying at a distance from him. He stared at the ceiling, pondering on what he had said. Iwaizumi grunted and was about to turn his head when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to find Oikawa looking at him, his chocolate- brown eyes filled with sadness and fear instead of the old warmth they had. "Can you hold me, please?" Iwaizumi didn't hesitate a second as he pulled Oikawa into his embrace. Oikawa closed his eyes, feeling the warmth radiating from him. He was still shaken from what had happened; but Iwaizumi's hold somehow gave him hope, and helped him feel protected. "Please never let go." Oikawa said, vulnerability in his voice sending pangs through Iwaizumi's chest. "Of course I won't." He replied, kissing his head. And though Oikawa thought it an impossible task, he did end up falling asleep that night, even though it was a disturbed one.

The next day, both Oikawa and Iwaizumi skipped school, the latter calling up their coach and making up a vague excuse of both of them being stuck with food poisoning. The police agreed to arrive at his home for questioning. Iwaizumi briefly filled them up with the remaining details and stayed by Oikawa's side to make sure they didn't overwhelm him. Iwaizumi offered to make a sketch of the other two men, but the police revealed that the old guy had given away the details of them already, annoyed at the fact that they had left him alone. 

They stayed home the whole week, though Oikawa tried convincing him to go to school. Iwaizumi had firmly refused, for obvious reasons. Oikawa's mental health was in tatters. He woke up now and then, drenched in sweat and Iwaizumi would murmur comforting words and try to get him to breathe easier till the panic attack or nightmare passed. Making him eat itself proved to be a hectic task, as Oikawa found it tough to not throw up whatever he ate. His body still really hurt, and he continued showering for about 4-5 times , the hate he had for himself growing each day. Iwaizumi himself was in shambles, having to watch Oikawa hurt so much though he tried his best not to show it. He started looking for good therapists around the area and tended to Oikawa's wounds as much as he could, while making sure he took in his pills. 

It was nearly the end of the week, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi were cuddling on the bed, watching a few old records of volleyball matches. It was the only thing best at distracting Oikawa, as they both enjoyed talking about strategies and wondering what the players could have done instead. They suddenly heard the doorbell ring, and Iwaizumi paused the match. Oikawa looked at him confused. "Isn't it too early for your mom to come back?" 

"Yeah. I'll go check who it is." Iwaizumi got up from the bed and opened the door, seeing his two friends standing there.

"Oh look he's alive." Mattsun's said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"We know you guys are dating and all but seriously one week is too much." Makki said, stepping past him into his house.

"Hello to you too." Iwaizumi said, as the two brushed past his shoulder into the house. "I told you, we both ate some bad stuff. Did you guys skip school?" 

" Sure, we believe ya. And yeah, we did. Wanted to see if you two eloped or something." Matsun said, still looking pissed. "What's the actual reason? You two never skip volleyball if anything else. And hey what happened to your hand?"

Both of them stared at Iwaizumi's bandaged hands. 

"Oh this," Iwaizumi gestured vaguely. "Cut my hand while chopping vegetables."

"Both of them?" Matsun looked doubtfully at him. 

"Yeah I was...in a hurry," Iwaizumi mentally kicked himself. He really couldn't have come up with anything else?

There was a brief silence after which Matsun cleared his throat. "That does explain why you would take time off volleyball... but then what about Toru?"

"Yeah. And speaking of who, where is he? Probably in your room. I hope he's dressed." Makki said, already climbing up the stairs. 

"Guys wait-" Iwaizumi yelled, but to no avail as the two guys were already in his room. 

"I hope you remember our faces, cap-" Matsun started in a sing song voice but stopped as he opened the door. 

"Wh-" Makki exclaimed, bumping at his back. "Why did you stop, Matsun? Oh jesus." It was Makki's turn to stare as he spotted Oikawa looking at them in surprise and something else, bundled up in blankets. 

Iwaizumi cursed, forcing his way past them. "I told you guys to wait." 

There was a brief silence as Makki and Matsun stared at their friend and captain- or was he rarely? His hair lay limp on his head, his eyes red and covered by huge bags. His lips were dry, along with the long cut on his bottom lip, stretching onto his chin. There were purplish marks around his neck, and arms. They both stood shocked, wondering where the smile that was usually present on his lips had vanished to, or why he looked so damn tired instead of his cheerful voice filling the room. "What the fuck happened?" Makki whispered, looking from Oikawa's face to Iwaizumi's. Did they fight? No, they wouldn't be living together then....

Iwaizumi sighed, heading over to Oikawa who averted his gaze from them. "Are you okay?" Iwaizumi asked, brushing the other's hair. Matsun couldn't help but feel more worried now; although Iwaizumi was dating Oikawa, both of them were usually exchanging some sort of banter or engaging in a playful fight. But right now, the way Iwaizumi was looking at his partner, the way his voice had been laced with concern and the way Oikawa was looking down- none of it felt right. 

"Guys? You are worrying us now." Makki attempted a nervous laugh. "If this is your idea of a prank, it isn't very nice." 

"Yeah. What's going on Oikawa?" Matsun reached forward to slap his shoulder like he had always done- except this time Oikawa flinched, and edged away from him instinctively, the brief expression of terror not escaping Matsun even though Oikawa tried changing it. But it was too late, and before he knew it Oikawa was back in the alley, a hand clutching hard on his shoulder as another silenced his screams. The voices around him faded away as his breathing quickened. Makki and Matsun watched on shocked, as Iwaizumi kneeled next to the setter, whispering softly in his ear. Iwaizumi avoided their eyes, as he rubbed Oikawa's shoulder comfortingly, who was now attempting long breaths.

"What the fuck..." Matsun muttered, taking back his hand. 

"Are you...mad at us about something?" Makki asked, feeling utterly confused and hurt. 

"No! It's nothing like that, I promise." Iwaizumi said frantically. "It's just..." The ace's voice trailed off, as he failed to finish the sentence. Which was another unusual thing; Iwaizumi was never short of words.

"It's just what? You know you can tell us anything right?" Mattsun said, clenching his hands. 

"Just that I'm not ready to tell you yet." Oikawa said quietly, speaking for the first time in front of them. He seemed to have regained his breath though he still looked deadly pale. "It's...I'm.... disgusting."

"Don't talk like that." Iwaizumi said sharply. He sighed, looking up at his friends. "Just give us time, alright? I'm sorry." 

Mattsun and Makki stared at the other pair for a moment. They now were convinced that something was seriously wrong. Was it really the same Oikawa they knew? It couldn't be...the one they knew was proud of himself and confident- but this one seemed to hate himself and he looked so fragile. 

"Right." Matsun managed to break out of his train of thoughts. "I'm sorry I intruded like that."

"Me too." Makki muttered. "We'll see you guys later then. Please reply to our texts. Come on, Matsun." He tugged at the other guy's tshirt, starting to head down the stairs. 

"No wait." Oikawa's voice stopped him as all three stared at him. "We can talk about other stuff and watch old videos- if you want to." 

Maki exchanged a glance with Matsun, and they decided to stay. Iwaizumi was slightly more hesitant. He knew they had been around these guys forever, but he didn't want Oikawa to feel overwhelmed. However if the guy himself had suggested it....he decided to go along with it. Maki and Matsun settled in, and talked to them like they usually would. But the way they hung around didn't feel usual it all. It wasn't usual that Oikawa's eyes no longer had the same warmth. It wasn't usual that he barely smiled all day or cracked any of his stupid jokes. It wasn't usual that Iwaizumi kept glancing at him every once in a while, as if he were made of glass. It wasn't usual that the slightest movement pained the setter. It wasn't usual that Iwaizumi did most of the talking while Oikawa sat silent. None of it was okay; but Maki and Matsun knew better than to push them and decided they'd wait for the other two to come to them whenever they were ready. They soon bid goodbye, leaving the two around the evening. Their walk was silent, both of them trying to figure out what was it that happened which had changed everything. "Do you have any idea about it?" Maki asked quietly, as they strolled through the streets. "No. But the situation's bad." Matsun replied, his mind wandering to dangerous places. Both of them didn't know much, but it was certain that someone had changed their best friend- and they could do nothing but feel anger at the moment.

Iwaizumi's birthday was a quiet event. Oikawa got Makki to take the parcel off the gate and bring it to him when Iwaizumi was out for groceries. The four of them gathered together along with Iwaizumi's mother at his place for a small celebration Oikawa had insisted upon. Iwaizumi indeed had tears on his face when he saw what Oikawa had gotten for him and hugged him tight. However he still didn't know this was what Oikawa had gotten out for that night, and Oikawa hoped it'll remain that way. They cut the cake, and later Oikawa and Iwaizumi enjoyed a quiet dinner at his terrace, both of them feeling light-weighted after a long time. However, the best gift Iwaizumi received that day was a surprise kiss from Oikawa at the end of the day- they had been limiting themselves to hugs and holding hands the past few days, as Oikawa hadn't been ready for anything else. 

Oikawa eventually started living at his house again, after his family returned. He had been slightly apprehensive of how they'd react, but they had hugged him tight and told him he had all their support. He started therapy sessions with someone Iwaizumi had chosen, though he was hesitant at first. He was now back in school, playing volleyball again; he had later told Maki and Matsun about what had happened. The two were shocked and angry to say the least, but they supported the captain in their own way, helping Iwaizumi with reducing the pressure on him. His teammates and classmates had figured something was up. But each time someone approached him on the topic, they'd feel the glare of Iwaizumi besides him, and back off immediately. Oikawa's fangirls were double in force now though, and each day Oikawa returned from school with a box of chocolates or some sort of random present. None of it was easy; but Iwaizumi was right beside him at every step, reminding him to breathe. The change was gradual and painstakingly slow. But the old Oikawa was making his return, and everyone couldn't help but smile when he did, even those who had no idea of what had happened. Iwaizumi knew that he'd never completely forget it; but he was slowly starting to move on, and Iwaizumi started smiling too as he resumed his banters with him. As for volleyball, they played their last inter-high, losing to Karasuno. It sucked but they soon found themselves knee-deep in exams. Oikawa felt himself falling for Iwaizumi more and more each day, and he often wondered out loud how he was so lucky to have him, earning a 'shut up' and a blush back. Life had been tough on Oikawa Toru-but he, like always- came out shining, and stronger than ever before.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm so sorry for this. Also this is my first time writing a fight scene( as if it weren't obvious lol).  
> I hope the writing's not too bad or dumb.  
> Also hope I didn't rush the ending much!  
> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
